Have you heard the definition of insanity?

It’s doing the same thing over, and over, and over again—and expecting a different result. As ridiculous as that pattern of behavior sounds, how often does that silly definition perfectly describe our almost robotic actions and conditioned responses?

What habits do we insanely continue though the results of those habits are not only ineffective, but even painful, damaging, and self-defeating?

The closer you look at this principle—If it’s not working, try something DIFFERENT—the clearer it becomes that truly living its lesson provides a powerful WOO to ignite momentum where there once was stagnation, to transform adversity into the possibility of exciting benefit in your business and your life.

You need to look no further than the light that’s illuminating the room you’re in right now as you read this article for shining proof of the power of this simple principle... The genius who developed the electric light, Thomas Edison was the king of “if it’s not working, try something different.” Edison was the Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Tiger Woods, and Wayne Gretzky of innovation all rolled into one, with over one thousand inventions and patents; more than any individual in history has amassed.

You’d think someone who produced such astonishing results must have had a tremendous academic background, yet Thomas Edison had only three months of formal education. In fact, by his late teens, Edison had lost all of his hearing in one ear, with eighty percent loss in the other. What Edison lacked in formal education and auditory capacity he more than made up for in tenacity, flexibility, and an unstoppable commitment to continually learn and grow. When speaking about the work going on in his laboratory in Menlo Park, New Jersey, he growled, “Hell, there are no rules here—we’re trying to accomplish something.”

When it came to his deafness, he turned that supposed handicap into an important ingredient in his success. He used the silence associated with deafness to sharply enhance his powers of concentration and alertness. Edison spent more than four years and experienced over four thousand failed attempts to create a functioning incandescent light bulb. But after each unsuccessful attempt, he adjusted and tried something different. After more than three years, and over three thousand failures, one of his top assistants finally reached the breaking point. Pulling his hair out and feeling angry, frustrated, and defeated, he went to Edison and asked the great inventor, “How can you stand all this failure?”

Edison’s reply offers a sure-fire recipe for a life of wonder, light, and resilience: “Are you kidding? We just learned another way not to make a light bulb.”

The most important place to apply this principle is in facing and dealing with fear.

Ultimately, all emotions in life fall into one of two foundational categories: love or fear. The instant you choose the loving side, you feel it in every cell of your body. It is unmistakable. Mind, body, and spirit are in harmony. Life, joy, energy, and peace fill you and you know with certainty that the choice you’ve made is right. The physiological, emotional, and spiritual response when you choose fear is every bit as striking. There is immediate and inescapable dissonance as if the wrong key is struck on the piano.

Following the principle of “If it’s not working, try something different” is of great value in virtually every facet of life. It is most powerful when it becomes a habitual way to break patterns of anger, defensiveness, and non-communication that can seriously damage our most important relationships and remove our joy.

A “Daley” Lesson to Live By

The last decade of my dear friend Nick Daley’s life is a shining testimony to the enormous benefits we bring to ourselves and all we love when we break the patterns and habits that aren’t working in our lives and try something different.

Nick had a difficult and painful childhood. His father died at a young age and when his mother remarried, Nick felt angry and cheated. He had difficulty getting along with his step-father, and when the family decided to move from Wichita Falls, Texas to Southern California, Nick, who was about to begin his junior year in high school refused to go. So, at sixteen, he lived alone in a tiny basement room he rented from a pastor who felt compassion for the lonely boy.

Nick went to school each morning, to orchestra practice right after school, and then to work until ten or eleven each night. He was able to make enough money to pay his rent and to eat, but he had nothing left over. On weekends he hustled any job he could find, from cutting grass to washing dishes, and he spent his Sunday afternoons cleaning his little apartment and getting everything ready for the week to come. His shoes had holes in them, but they were polished. His clothes were old and worn, but they were clean and pressed. He was determined, organized, and hard-working, but he was also bitter, unloved, and alone. Through sheer resolve, Nick achieved outstanding grades in school and earned a scholarship to the University of Texas.

He was driven to succeed and to show the world he could make it, and that he was worthy of respect. When he married and had two lovely daughters, his sense of obligation became even stronger. But a marriage based more upon obligation than love is like a home with no furniture. It may look fine from the outside, but inside it is barren and empty. There is no comfort. The marriage failed and Nick became a single parent. Materially, he provided well for his daughters and loved them very much. But he wouldn’t let his love show. There was little joy in him. He was tough, slow to give praise, and nearly incapable of expressing his affection to the very people he loved the most. For Nick, the world was like boot camp. You worked hard, you fulfilled your responsibilities, and you survived. You never abandoned others, but you never allowed yourself to get too close, either.

Although Nick achieved some financial success, he veered farther and farther from any semblance of balance. Workaholism became his norm. He began to gain weight from countless fast-food meals on the run. Though he provided a stable home for his daughters, he traveled a great deal, and even when he was home, he was away. His mind was immersed in the next business meeting or challenge.

Occasionally, Nick wished that he had more love, fun, and fulfillment in life. But he figured you play the hand you’re dealt. At his core, he knew his life wasn’t working, but most of the time he kept moving so fast it was hard to notice.

When his girls were grown and ready to dive fully into their own lives he was alone again. He was on a figurative treadmill, working hard with little enjoyment, and going nowhere. The breakthrough came when it finally hit him that for things to change, he must change. Nick Daley decided to try something different.

For the first time, Nick began to understand that as Wayne Dyer often said, “There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way.” Throughout his life, Nick had focused constantly on what he felt he had to do. Now he began to ask himself what he wanted in his life. He realized he had choices and started to make new ones. Rather than looking at the rest of his life as a battle, a war to survive, Nick decided it was time to go “4-F” and free himself from the battlefield. He chose to fill his life with fun, fitness, family, and forgiveness.

He discovered that for his life to be truly rich, it was vital for him to make his livelihood choices based upon the fun and fulfillment he would receive from his work rather than focusing so completely upon the money he would make. He bought a personal and team development seminar franchise and immersed himself in the human spirit.

He excitedly dove into working with a personal coach, and was so open and enthusiastic about growing as a person he won a special award from his company for being the “Most Coachable Consultant.” No one was more deserving of that honor. I know. I was his coach.

For Nick, work became an opportunity to help people learn, as he had, that they really did have choices about the direction, energy, and focus of their lives. With this new motivation and inspiration, his natural wit and infectious sense of humor began to shine like a ray of pure white light. Nick Daley became glimmering proof that fun is available everywhere in everyone.

He also understood that without fitness, he would be too physically spent to enjoy the fun he was creating in his new life. Nick joined a Masters Swimming Program at the Aerobic Center in Dallas and transformed his body just as he had transformed his spirit. And, of course, with greater fitness came greater fun. A whole new set of friends, his swimming buddies, joined his life. He loved being the “old man” on the team and found a whole new joy in birthdays because each one moved him closer to a new older age group where he would instantly become one of the faster competitors. He became trim, strong, and vibrant.

None of the 4Fs was more important to Nick than family. His daughters were the most important people in his life, yet, as so many others do, he had somewhere fallen out of the habit of expressing his love for them. He would tease them, needle them, occasionally try to coach them, but never let all of that go and simply love them. He had retreated behind the assumption that they knew how he really felt about them. But in truth, they didn’t know. With neglect, doubt grows.

The effect this failure to express his love for his daughters had on his own spirit had been even more destructive. Remember, the love we fail to share is the only pain we live with. Deep down in his heart, he had wanted to sweep them up in his arms as he had when they were little girls, to let that pure, free, joyous affection flow.

He had ached to receive the same kind of love back from them. With the final F—forgiveness—Nick was finally able to let go of the ache and revel in the kind of loving family he had always wanted. He forgave himself for the past. The amazing power of his forgiveness was instantaneous. It was as if every cell in his body took a rich, full cleansing breath, and healed completely. His habit of withholding was replaced with loving expression.

When Nick passed away, his daughters knew without any doubt how much he loved them. They were his dearest and closest friends. He became a champion WOO-seizer because he learned that indeed, when it’s not working, we can always try something different.

Remember, seizing your WOOs and igniting your joyful spirit requires change.