Dear Uncle Russ: How do I help people have confidence and believe in themselves?  ___ Ray G. Seattle, WA

Thanks, Ray. I wish more people were interested in this question. In a word; listen. Make them feel important by being authentically interested in them. What are their best qualities? What are they committed to? When you hear qualities and values such as courage, tenacity, open-mindedness, compassion, integrity, discipline, etc......ACKNOWLEDGE them! Sometimes people don't see what's best about themselves and when they do, they are reticent to say something for fear of being judged. Many feel "invisible" even to family and friends.

Listen to their "self-talk" and notice when they "down" themselves or feign modesty. Call'em on it! Over the years, I have watched some beautiful lumps of coal become diamonds before my very eyes. I had little to do with it except that I saw and heard them as diamonds all along and consistently told them so....until they believed me.

Dear Uncle Russ: How do you overcome the many "objections" you encounter when building an MLM business? _____ Wanda Jeanty, MD, MS -   New York, NY

Dear Dr. Wanda:

The age-old paradigm for sales is that when you hear resistance to a sale, you identify and categorize it. Is it a "perceived drawback?" Is it a "misunderstanding?" Is there a need for more information? Once you identify the type of objection you use a specific technique to "overcome" it and then you attempt to close the sale...again. My main concern about this methodology is: How do you overcome an objection without making someone wrong? Sales in this paradigm, in my opinion, come more often from resignation rather than satisfaction.

So here's another possibility. My good friend and mentor, Richard Brooke, calls this "listening through an objection." Whenever you feel resistance, you can "bet your sweet bippy" that there is concern behind it! So asking the question: "Do you have a concern?" must, by its very nature, continue the conversation, versus one having to "guess" what the correct response is. It also shows we are more interested in THEM than we are in getting a sale.

After listening to whatever the concern or concerns are, we don't give them a rebuttal that makes them wrong...we give them a choice!  This is what I believe is missing that so often prevents a sale. We create our own resistance by avoiding the possibility that our efforts may not result in an agreement or a sale. So as an alternative, we can instead create a "possible" solution or choice.  Question: What is the resistance to a possibility? There is none....there is only another or a different possibility! In my experience, when you use this formula, resistance disappears.

Dear Uncle Russ: I certainly would consider myself a relatively seasoned networker. However, even now, I sometimes find myself anticipating that sooner or later, regardless of how I set up the conversation, the eventual Is this network marketing? "shoe" is going to drop. Your thoughts? ___ 'Fraidy Cat - Saratoga Springs. NY

Dear Fraidy Cat:

Ahhhh, yes; The network marketing "boogeyman" lurks in the minds and recesses of all who have dared venture into the dark and secretive MLM jungle, especially without a flashlight! I believe it is our very fear and concern about how to handle the "network marketing" conversation that creates room for it to appear. Let me explain. Have you ever actually seen the boogeyman? Of course not! He's not real. He is a fabricated myth made up by adults to frighten children into good behavior...until they grow up and replace him with network marketing!

What if we no longer feared someone saying "Is this network marketing" or "One of those pyramid things?" What if we were actually listening for it as an opportunity to qualify a prospect? What if we are relieved when it comes up because it provides us with an opportunity; not to defend, apologize or explain, but instead a moment of truth? Rarely does one ask these questions because they have been waiting all evening for a person to talk to them about network marketing? Most of the time they have a hunch that it is, and they are gambling you will stutter and stammer, and then they'll have an easy back door. Now, let me ask you this: Do you want to convince someone that network marketing really isn't as bad as they think, or would you rather eliminate or embrace them NOW, by saying "If it IS, would you be open to it?"

If they say: "Hell NO!" promise not to bring it up again, and thank them profusely...maybe with a tear of gratitude in your eye and a big warm hug for their honesty.

If they say "Yes!" Say "Let's get together soon and sit down and I'll share with you a strategy for us to have some fun and make a fortune together! The point is, that it is the irrational FEAR of our reaction to this question that takes us out of our game. It's primal and natural. It's also covertly disempowering. The good news is you first have to SEE the boogeyman for what he is: a story, a myth, in order to not be afraid of him. Because then he will vanish....forever!

Love, Uncle Russ