The best way to access your power is by making requests that move people into action. By moving the action forward, you take an insight into what would support someone and make a request that moves the person to accomplish something that would otherwise never be realized. Most people operate out of a mistaken notion that information is the source for action. Information alone, without action to move a situation forward, produces no results. A request is a conversation that produces action.

So, if requests move people and situations forward, why don’t we make them more routinely to generate results?

1. We may be fearful of having our requests declined.

With the mere possibility of getting turned down, we will retreat and hide under a rock. A good example is asking out a date. You might really want to date that special person, but that little nagging voice reminding you that you just might get turned down can cause paralysis. If you are more committed to getting the date than protecting yourself from potential rejection, you’ll pop the question. If the reverse is true, you might never know if the answer would have been …YES!

2. We are more committed to looking good (and not looking bad) than to making a difference by making a powerful request.

When your focus is on yourself, you trade in your ability to influence others for protection and comfort.

3. We are not clear about what requests to make and what needs to happen to bring about a result.

So rather than determine what requests need to be made to produce an intended outcome, we do nothing and hope for the best.

4. We are not skilled at making requests so they can be heard and acted upon. 

When our requests are selfishly motivated or not in the best interest of the other person, they fall on deaf ears. One way to get our requests heard and acted upon is to combine our request with a promise. I request that you do (whatever), and if you do, I promise to do (this) in return. Having your requests accepted and acted upon will depend on how effective you are at creating an opening for what you have to say. Create a receptive audience for your requests by speaking your commitment to the person or situation so that the reason behind the request can be appreciated.

Example: Out of my commitment to support you to be powerful, I request that you make at least three requests every day whenever you see an opportunity to influence a situation. For effective requests, be clear about what must be accomplished to satisfy the request and by when you request it be done.

Example: I request that you hire a personal development coach by the first day of next month. Whenever a request is made, the person to whom it is made has four options: to accept the request; to decline the request; to commit to respond to the request by either accepting or declining by some later date; and to propose an alternate possibility. Should you opt to decline a request made of you, leave the person making the request whole. When possible, propose a counter offer to benefit all involved.

Exercise for Making Powerful Requests

1) Make a request to move the action forward at least three times daily.  Create a receptive audience for your requests to be heard and include a deadline with each one you make.

2) Record the results of your requests in your journal.