It’s Like Having A Super Power!

Have you ever met people… and 5 minutes later can’t remember their names?

It’s a common problem faced by far too many people. Not recalling a person’s name is not merely embarrassing, it’s also bad for business. It can be damaging to your reputation.

While it’s true for everyone in general, being able to remember people’s names is vastly more important for Network Marketers. This is, after all, a business of building relationships.

If you want people to look up to you, respect you, trust you, follow where you lead, and JOIN YOU in your business, then you must be certain to remember their names.

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Imagine being able to easily recall the names of everyone at any live meeting or training you attend. Think about what it would be like to go to a business networking event and be able to call everyone in the room by name. Suppose you could recall the names of each person you met at a barbecue or at a friend’s party.

Wow! Being able to do that would give you an amazing amount of self-confidence, wouldn’t it?Even more importantly, others would look at you as if you had a superpower.  Seriously!  It’s that important. In truth, when you have the ability to recall people’s names, you gain a new level of respect and admiration that is difficult to acquire any other way. Simply put, people want to be remembered. Period.

So, when you recall their names, and maybe the names of their spouse, children, and possibly even their beloved pet dog or cat, they will naturally be drawn to you.  You distinguish yourself as someone who is truly special.

That’s because you demonstrated that you cared enough to know the single most important thing about them… their names… and the names of those they love.

So, why do you struggle with remembering names?  More importantly, what can you do about it?  The good news is you don’t have to be superhuman to acquire this interpersonal superpower.  Anybody can learn to become adept at remembering names.

THE 3 CAUSES OF ‘FORGET-ORY’

Rather than talking about memory, let’s talk about what causes you to forget names (and other stuff) in the first place.

There are 3 root causes of a bad memory. I call them The 3 Causes Of ‘Forget-ory’.

When you understand what’s causing your problems, then you are more than halfway to solving them.

The 1st Cause of ‘Forget-ory’: You don’t GET it.

If you don’t get it, you can’t keep it. When you’re meeting someone and you don’t get the name, there’s no way to hold on to it.

Whenever you’re being introduced to someone, slow down. Pay attention. You’re about to receive something very important. If you don’t understand the name, ask them to repeat it. If it’s a name from another culture and it's one you aren’t familiar with, perhaps ask them to spell it.  Nobody will be offended. In fact, the opposite is true. People like it when you take the extra time to ensure you get their names.

The 2nd Cause of ‘Forget-ory’: You don’t CARE.

You may be thinking, “Hold on a minute Matt… I care.”  Well, there’s caring, and then there’s caring enough to do something about it.

I know people who can recall the names (and even the statistics) of every member of their favorite sports team, and yet can’t remember people they just met a moment ago, or forget their wedding anniversary or spouse’s birthday.

It’s like your mother used to tell you when she’d wag her finger in your face.  “You can only remember what you WANT to remember.” Guess what? Mom was right! You remember the things you want to remember. You must care enough to make it a priority. Pay attention when getting someone’s name. Focus on it for a moment.

The 3rd Cause of ‘Forget-ory’: You don’t BELIEVE.

Do you know what you don’t believe? You don’t believe you have a superpower memory right now.

I hear people say things like this to themselves: “I can always remember a face but I can never remember a name.” Or they say: “I must be getting old.” Meantime they’re in their 30’s or 40’s. Or they joke about having Alzheimer’s. And so on. Saying those types of things to yourself is not the RESULT of a bad memory. It is the CAUSE.

Think about it like this. If you have the attitude that your memory stinks, then why would you even bother to try and GET the name, or why would you ever CARE?  You’re beat before you start.

So what should you say to yourself instead of those negative things we just mentioned? Telling yourself that you suddenly have a perfect memory doesn’t work, because you won’t believe that either.

There are two self-talk phrases that will help you instantly.

First, say to yourself, “I will remember your name.” I know that sounds overly simplistic, but it works. You’re giving your mind the correct instruction.

The second phrase is a question. “HOW am I going to remember that person’s name?” Asking yourself this question forces your creativity to come up with some sort of connection to help you file and retain it.

ASSOCIATION VS. CONNECTION

You’ve probably heard of something called “Association” when trying to remember things. That’s not a good word. If it were, you’d be able to understand and use it better.

Instead, think in terms of CONNECTION.  Your mind is a connecting machine. It connects new information, like names, to things you already know. It’s like you have a mental set of LEGOS. This new thing connects to that other thing that was here before.

For example, if you meet someone who has the same first name as your father, mother, sister, brother, or children, your mind instantly makes the connection. That little voice inside your head says, “Oh this person has the same name as my daughter.” You do this naturally, right now. You do it without thinking. You do it without making any extra effort or doing anything special.

Here’s the problem. Right now you’re only doing it haphazardly. It’s sort of like being on automatic pilot. You only do it occasionally. The goal is to do it all the time. Do it deliberately. Make those connections on purpose.

HERE ARE YOUR FIRST STEPS

If you look me up online, you may come across videos where I recall the names of every single person in my audience from the front of the room. Some of them are with surprisingly large crowds.

For more than 40 years now, I’ve extensively written about strategies for accelerated learning and have conducted both live and recorded training sessions on the importance of remembering people’s names.

In those lessons, I deliver a number of very simple, but incredibly powerful ways to make connections with people’s names, so they stay in your head for a long time. I give you pre-built connections for many of the most common names, so you don’t have to invent them on the spot for yourself.

In a short article such as this, we don’t have room to go into that level of instruction. However, you can start right now. You can TRIPLE your memory power immediately. You just need to pay attention to overcoming the 3 Causes of ‘Forget-ory’.

1. GET the name when being introduced.
2. CARE enough about the other person to make the effort.
3. BELIEVE in yourself and give your mind the right instructions with positive self-talk. Ask yourself HOW you’re going to remember those names.

When you do that, you’ll experience instant improvement. Furthermore, you will be delighted to discover that others begin looking at you differently. They hold you in higher esteem. They are happy to be associated with you. They feel recognized.

As a result, you become someone who can lead them, because they are more willing to follow you.