There are a lot of bait and switch ads that lure people in for one thing, only to sell them something different. Time management is one of those, and it is successfully brilliant.

It promises time management but then switches to …. SELF MANAGEMENT.

What makes it so brilliant is that at the end of the seminar, book, or lecture few people complain, “All they told me was how to manage my priorities, values, urgencies, conflicting and competing demands, etc.”

Nobody can manage time.

But it is a great hook to enroll unsuspecting attendees. How many people want to sign up for a seminar called "How To Manage Yourself When You Have Too Much To Do And Too Little Self-Discipline? Would anyone be eager to attend a seminar like this? Do you feel wobbly when you think about what needs to be done – instead of indulging yourself? Come one and come all if you don’t have the starch in your backbone to do the needful in a timely manner. So, we have a face-saving title about managing time. It doesn’t threaten a fragile ego.

In fact, the Time Management title suggests we are busy and important, and we need tips to manage all our important endeavors.

Thus, we can look good to the other attendees. But if we attend something that is advertised as self-management, then we look like we are out of control. Or we have weak self-discipline.

Of all the glorified bullet points of time management – there is one that is rarely mentioned: COURAGE.

I believe it takes courage to manage yourself. Because when we set lofty, inspiring, or even drudge goals, it takes courage to face the realities of the requirements to stay the course. It takes courage to create boundaries about what you will or will not do. It takes courage to say “no” when another part of you wants to be pleasing or avoid disappointing someone. It takes courage to create stretch goals and follow through. It takes courage to prioritize menial goals and delay indulging in food, electronic devices, or my favorite ­– naps. It takes courage to create a strong loving team with your spouse to bring out the best in each other. And work toward mutually agreeable aspirations and inspirations. The entire journey requires ongoing self-management along the way to deal with finite amounts of time and energy. It takes courage to manage the emotions of heartbreak, fear, frustrations, and the willingness to continue to make important decisions with inadequate information or resources. You may have noticed that all of these tasks require taking emotional risks and sustained effort to live in alignment with our higher values and aspirations... In other words – courage is the common denominator. So, what is my definition of this key quality of courage?

“The sustained action we take when we judge something to be more important than our insecurities, fears, self-protections, jealousies, or bad habits.”

So whenever you manage your time better than before, give yourself credit and take pride in being more courageous than before. Take pride in your evolution and compliment your partner for their efforts. You are rewriting your future and your love story. Because now you understand the secret to time management.